In My Write Mind
Thank you for all of the, ummm, quirky queries...below is my attempt at answering them all.
Loaf's on/off girlfriend Siddocious asked:
1. What is your favorite non-food aroma?
I'd have to say the smell of a freshly-cut lawn. Growing up, that was my main chore: mowing the lawn, and each time I would complete the task, the smell would equate with accomplishment to me, success. To this day, each time I'm in my old neighborhood and the lawns are freshly cut, I love that smell. (Translation: Every other favorite is food-related...LOL)
2. The fate of the world rests on your shoulders! Which world-saving task is more humiliating: naked karaoke of Alvin and the Chipmunks tunes, or karaoke in said tunes in full drag--Ru-Paul style?
I'm gonna have to go with the Ru-Paul getup as more humiliating. Not.gonna.happen. Hellus nous. I'd much rather sing the Chipmunks tunes in da buff. This way I could get a spread in Playgirl and a recording contract with Playskool. Woo hoo!!!
3. Um, what would you put on a personalized license plate?
It would probably say 'WriteMinded' or something to that effect. Maybe 'WetBiscuit'. Who knows? LOL
My new friend Keish from Chicaaaaaagow asked:
1. What are the who/what/when/where of your favorite vacation?
Picture it if you would: A group of young lads venture out on a trip to Virginia Beach in 1992. The food, the alcohol, the practical jokes, the BEACH full of women...Good.damn.times. And the reason it stands out as my favorite is because it was the first time ALL of my boys were able to travel away together and relax, release and umm, for some of us, regurgitate. LOL One of our boys was two years younger than the rest of us but said that he'd secured a fake ID to get into the clubs...Ummm, no. He forgot that crap at home and was stuck driving around VA Beach while the rest of us were inside. That "Am I My Brothers Keeper?" shit goes out the window when you don't hold up your end of the bargain. *shrug* He got over it.
My other friend resembled the pre-crack-soaked Bobby Brown, and he used that alllll weekend to his advantage when meeting girls. It was hilarious, him telling them he couldn't sing for them because it would a breach of contract. AND THEY FELL FOR IT! It didn't last long, though, because lawd knows I didn't look anything like Ralph, Ronnie, Ricky or Mike. Thankfully, my friend stopped the pitiful impersonation and was the first of the crew to settle down and have kids.
Ahhh, that trip was the best of times. I miss the fellas. Thanks for allowing me to reminisce!
2. If you could be invisible for a day, what would be the first thing you would do?
Wow...the first thing, huh? Probably check a mirror to make sure I was really invisible. I'd be pissed if I could see myself. LOL
3. If you cheated on your wife to be, the night before the wedding, would you tell her before or after the wedding if at all?
I really thought about what I would do in that situation. Great question! I truly believe that I would have to tell her before the wedding took place. For two reasons. I was a person born with a conscience and if I were man enough to fuck up that royally THE NIGHT BEFORE MY WEDDING, then I would have to be man enough to come clean about the incident with my intended. I couldn't enter the union with lies or deception on my heart. I know it would hurt her, nee, crush her, but she deserves to be told the truth now so she could make a clear decision as to whether to marry me or not.
It's like they said in the movie Love, Actually, when the husband was buying his assistant gifts and entertaining thoughts of adultery. He said something similar to, "I've been an old fool." His wife responded: "Yes, but even worse is that you've made a fool out of me." That's some deep shit. And I'd never be able to put my wife-to-be through the embarrassment of being the last to know that I'd messed up. My conscience would eat me alive. Which leads me to the other reason I'd have to tell: my facial expressions tell EVERYTHING. I can't be fake. I'd suck at poker. When something is wrong with me, you will know (like a Black Men United song). It's a curse. LOL
My neighbor Mahogany Elle is trippin...lol:
1. Would you rather be stuck in an elevator for 24 hours with Bobby Brown and his crack pipe or Mike Tyson sans a recent meal?
I think I would have to go with Mike Tyson on this one. First of all, Mike with no food would mean that gaseous odors would be kept to a minimum and, plus, my ears are pretty big so if he had to take a few bites to sustain himself...I'm just sayin' there's plenty to go around. LOL
Being stuck with B.Brown AND his crack pipe would be horrible. The twitching, the smells emanating from said pipe, the hallucinations, the constant punching I'd have to do as he lunged at me, insinuating I was trying to take his crack or sleep with his crack-headed spouse...the whole Eddie Cain sequence that he'd inevitably act out, accusing me of wanting to be him, all with pipe firmly inserted in crooked lips...Lawd. No.thanks.
2. Like Erykah sings, you're granted a "next lifetime". Coming back as Millie Jackson or Al Reynolds, white capris and all? i'm just saying, inquiring minds wanna know...
This is just an unfair question. Not because it's difficult, but because it'll make me come off looking like I wanna be a girl. Ummm, no. AND I'm not going to elaborate on this one, but I will say that since, out of the two choices, Millie at least LOOKS like a man and has male mannerisms, so I'd have to ask people to call me M.J. and get past the wack hairstyle. *shrug*
What inspires you to write?
War-torn parts of Africa, Sally Struthers commercials, the new Pope, the Flow-bee...LOL
Truthfully, I've always wanted to be good at something. REALLY good. So until I am the best writer I can be, I will continue to be inspired to write. Also, I feel I have a story to tell and my best form of expression is the written word. And still I haven't mastered it. So, I write.
My sista from anotha motha Grayse wanted to know:
How much do you REALLY adore me?
Words can't describe how much I adore your selflessness, innocence (alleged...lol), and friendliness. I envy it, even. I just don't want people to take advantage of your kind spirit. We have to work on your "street smarts". In fact, no we don't. All of that will come in time. I like you, no, I adore you just the way you are now. Thank you for befriending me.
What is your biggest regret?
Not leaving your ass linked on my page from Day 1. Oy, the grief I had to endure because I failed to do so will haunt me for all eternity. LOL
If you could tell anyone anything right now who and what would it be? (You may use nicknames)
I would tell my birth mother (ummmm, nickname BM...LOL) that I love her and thank her for bringing me into the world.
The Indy-pendent woman ButterflyLocs was curious about:
(1) Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
In three years, I see myself a father to at least one child, married and working on my fourth or fifth book. Residence is really unknown since I'm pretty flexible when it comes to where I live. I just feel that I'll be happy and doing what my life's work will be. Stay tuned. LOL
(2)If you were trying to impress/seduce/whathaveyou a woman with your cooking skills, what would you make? Take-out is not an option!
Hmmmm...I can actually cook. And I would hope that she liked Italian, because that would be my meal of choice for a night of seduction and such. I'd start off with a nice garden salad full of cucumbers and tomatoes and topped with a light dressing. The main course would be my homemade meat lasagna (meat optional) accompanied by a nice red wine. For dessert, I'd make something light like some type of pastry. This way, she would be full...but sooooo full that we'd be too tired for the after-dinner party. LOL
Brown Sugar from the H.O.B. lane, had these questions:
1) What is the most interesting thing you did within the past three days?
It had to be last night, when I went to the New York Mets game. Lawd, people in there were fighting any and everybody as if their names were Mike "Will Fight to Pay Bills" Tyson. I swear, all that were missing were the cut men. Ladies were fighting male Yankees fans. Two dudes almost went to war because *sigh* their knees were touching as they sat side by side in the little car seats that are passed off as box seats. It hurts to sit at field level.
Beers were flying, curses were being delivered with pinpoint accuracy...little kids were getting into the fray, throwing souvenir baseballs all willy-nilly. *shaking head* It took the brightly-uniformed "security" entirely too long to respond. Imagine if we were sitting in the upper deck. Folks would've been flying down steep stairs. Just crazy. And ummm, interesting. Which was the point of this reply. LOL
2) When was the last time you had good hand on booty sex? Eh...hand on booty details should follow. Thank.you.
Ahhh...the last time. Actually, it was a few weeks ago, thankyouverymuch. I'm too much of a gentleman to recount all the freaky details, but I will say that she wore me the fuck out. I mean, snoring-and-sucking-my-thumb-like-a broke-ass-Marcus-Graham-in-Boomerang worn out. What I will also say is that she and I were a perfect fit. In every sense of the word. That's it. That's all I'm gonna say. Sorry, Sugar.
3) Are you seeing anybody special right now? If not, do you have your eye on somebody? Just asking.
Actually, yes and yes. And they ARE the same person. And very special. Like a Debra & Ronnie Laws song.
The ever-lovely Kajuana (who I have to suck up to) says:
1. In a Death Match between Super Man and Bat Man (sans Robin's gay ass) who would win and why?
My dear KK, there is only one answer to that question. Superman, of course. I mean, Batman couldn't even beat the Riddler with that damn utility belt of his. The RIDDLER, whose only weapons were some plastic question marks and party-starting brain teasers!!!! What chance does he have against the Man of Steel? Plus, Superman is a freak from another planet. Batman? Dude wasn't even bitten by a bat, for Bruce Wayne's sake. Well, at least not that we know of. I guess the new prequel this summer will tell the true Gothamwood story of that. LOL Summarily, anybody that has the name Super in his name will continually pummel a dude named after a blind-to-daytime marsupial. You can take that to the bank.
2. Do you prefer black and white photos or colored? Why?
LOL @ colored. Does that mean photos of black people from the '60s? Seriously, I've always loved black and white photos. They seem to bring out more richness anf flavor in the subject. And leaves you with more to imagine as to colors. Imagination is the spice of life. Everything from wedding portraits to graduation photos just come across better in black and white. At least to me.
3. If you wrote your life story and had to break it up in three major sections, what would you title them?
Part 1: The Takeover (which would concentrate on my adoption and the early years)
Part 2: The Geek (one look at my high school yearbook picture will tell you exactly why...lol)
Part 3: The Calling (this will focus on the years I've been paid to do what I love...write)
My literary liaison Yolanda came up with some doozies:
1) What is the first thing you almost always do upon entering your apartment?
Funny you ask that now. Because after last weekend, the first thing I do EVERYDAY is check and see if the T.M.I.C. is O.U.T. and A.B.O.U.T. Yeck.
2) If you were told you could only watch one TV show, which would it be and why?
I'd have to go with the Music Choice channel. Only because it's never ending...LOL
3) What would be the one thing you love most about yourself and why?
I think I love my sense of humor the most. Only because it can be used to put people at ease, and along with biting sarcasm, can keep fools at arms length.
4) Who came up with the word Yeesh first, me or you? And if you say you, please provide documentation.
Lawd. There is no way we can settle this argument without the benefit of The People's Court. So I challenge you to show up there so that we can have a studio audience in MANHATTAN MALL decide once and for all. *thinking it'll be funny when they laugh us out of the courtroom after finding out that Yeesh isn't even a word...LOL*
Livin La Vida Golden came to me with this:
1) What is your favorite childhood memory?
Going fishing with my dad. We would go out on the boats from Freeport, L.I. and be in the middle of the ocean for six hours, eating sandwiches, drinking Yoo-Hoo and just talking. About school, about home...about being a man and what it involved. I used to look forward to those times because it showed another side of my dad. He tried not to curse in front of us kids (using CottonPicker ChickenPlucker instead), but when I first heard him curse, it was on a fishing boat when the captain tried to cheat him out of his winnings for catching the biggest fish. They were just great times.
2) If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?
Hmmmm...can't really answer that now. The whole world is pretty fucked up so I'd have to choose carefully. LOL Lemme marinate on that and get back to you.
My Write Hand Xquizzyt1 asked questions she already knows the answers to...LOL:
1. What song do you want played at your wedding? Why? (don't try to count that as two!!!)
Do I only get one song???? I would definitely play At Last by Etta James. I just love that song. And since I'm in my 30s, this song will literally be appropriate, as I will have finally tied the knot and found that lasting happiness that has eluded me like a daytime Emmy for Susan Lucci in the 80s. LOL
2. What is the most romantic thing you've ever done for a woman?
Lawd. I've been told everything--that this isn't romantic at all to this was the greatest thing ever done by a significant other. Sooooo I'm not sure. But here goes. I wanted to surprise my then-girlfriend for Valentine's Day. I was in Los Angeles the week before V-Day for the Grammy's and told her that I was staying there for the NBA All-Star the following weekend. Little did she know that I was plotting with her sister for me to come to Atlanta on Valentine's Day because it realllllly meant alot to her. Valentine's Day was on a Saturday.
So I caught a flight from Los Angeles to New York on Friday night. Got there Saturday morning. Turned around, took a bus down to DC and proceeded to wait once I got there for SIX HOURS until my flight from DC to Atlanta was to depart. I'm seriously jet-lagged. Her sister was all set to come pick me up from the airport (we'd spent the day making her believe I was in LA having the time of my life...LOL). And then...once I landed, after a delay (it was after 10PM), her sister called and told me that her car died. Kaput. And there was no Plan B.
So she had to call her and tell her to come pick me up. LOL She was sooooo surprised that I was there. It made her happy. AND I got there ON Valentine's Day. I thought it was romantic. She thought so, too. But mannnn was I tired. LOL
3. What's something you would love to do... but are afraid to. (oh and throw in why you're afraid)
I would love to quit my job and just concentrate on finishing my book. I'm afraid to do that because my nest egg is NOT what it should be and would NOT carry through the conclusion of the book. I'd be scratchin and survivin' like a broke ass Evans family. Not.a.good.look. But THAT'S what I would love to do. But I'm afraid.
4. Oh and since I don't take direction well in some circumstances, I asked you the last time you did this what your biggest fear was... has this changed???
I'm still in fear of success. But notsomuch anymore. I think as the years go by, I'm starting to realize my potential a bit more and am beginning to take more chances. Seriously, this will be the YEAR OF WILL!!! LOL
My DC home skillet and CEO of We The Voices Panama Muhfuggin took time out to ask:
1) Where were you when you first heard that Biggie got shot and had passed?
I was home visiting my family that March morning. So I was laid out in the guest bedroom when I woke up to silence on the radio. Then I heard Angie Martinez and Mr. Cee just sitting there, crying. I was like WTF? I wrote about that day in The Flow--Renewal.
2) Since the ladies seem to love you so much, what's your secret playboy?? I'm trying to learn here!!
Dude, you're kidding, right? LOL I got nothing like a Whitney Houston song. Remember when I came to DC and met up with you guys? THAT'S the kind of love I get, accept and appreciate. All I'm sayin is that BC went to ATL last week and it was damn near the Blogcademy Awards up in dat piece. HE'S the one you should be taking notes on, because apparently HE'S where the party's at. He's Jagged Edge and Nelly. LOL
3) Who in the hell...left the gate open???
You thought I wouldn't answer this, didn't you? Well, my research shows that it was Marcia Carter, that stuck-up little girl from down the block. And because she left the gate open when I was 6 years old living in St. Albans, my mother's poodle got away and she blamed me. I got an ass whuppin because of that girl. Damn you, Marcia. Damn you to hell for leaving the gate open!!!
Thank you all for participating. That was aiiight for me, yo.
scribbled by Will at 4/27/2005 08:26:00 AM
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I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear. (Joan Didion)
The Write One
Will. Lefty. Since Summer 1971. Over the next six months, I'll be saying some hellos, some goodbyes. Living, laughing, growing. Don't.miss.a.word.
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