In My Write Mind
3.17.2005

And Now...Back to Punk'd...The Lost Episode

Still in Commercial Break

Next up on an all new Making the Band 3: Diddy pulls out all the stops and has his choreographer teach all the girls...how to cook breakfast food.

Diddy: "You just never know when you're gonna be in Belgium, with over 20,000 people watching your every move...and somebody wants you to cook some waffles. *pause* Yeah, n*ggas, I said waffles. Hell, it's Belgium. I could want some waffles on tomorrow or some sh*t. Waffles."

Watch the batter fly as the girls start waffling from the pressure.

Obscure-girl-who-can't-sing-or-dance-but-was-chosen-because-she's-light-skinned: F*ck this sh*t! You think I came here to cook? What, I look like Aunt Jemillah or some sh*t? *crying* This is not my dream, yo...*still crying*


On the NEXT Making the Band!!!! Thursday at 10...on MTV.

*cue Punk'd bumper music*

Ashton: OK, so we're back at Laser Quest in Memphis, Tennessee, teaching ole big mouth Willie Boy our version of laser tag. Everybody else has put on their black laser tag uniforms, while Willlll is wearing a white shirt and some dress shoes. Wack!!!! *switching to camera 2* I think you will agree that it's time we take him down. *1* Willie survive? I think No.

Scene 3: Back at Laser Quest

Trombone: OK, please place your energy packs over your heads and activate your guns using the keys we supplied you with outside. Let me take a roll call: Kill Will Volume 1? *Here1* Kill Will Volume 2? *Yo.* Will U Die Already? *Check.* Good Will Hunting? *Right here.* Willt? *Ready.* Alright. Everybody's here. I'm about to open the door to the maze. Happy hunting, everybody.

Will: Droppin like flies, kiddies. Droppin like flies. Let's GOOOO!

*spotlight shines directly on the white-shirted, light-skinned dude*

*people see him coming and hear him with his dress shoes clip-clopping along*

HIT! -10 points

HIT! -20 points

HIT! -30 points

Will: My gun...my gun's not working.

Trombone: Just try pulling the trigger, man.

Will: *cue electric shock* Yeeaowwwwwwwww! What the *#$!&!!!*

*cut to Ashton and Ms. Hedgeman laughing hysterically*

Ms. Hedgeman: Tag, you're it. Bitch. *laughing*

Trombone: Move around, man. They're killing you!!!

Ashton from the control room: Put up the two-way mirrors!

*Ashton, Ms. Hedgeman and Moochie crack up*

Will: *still shaken up from the shocks* You think some shocks are gonna stop me? I will *shake* not lose. Bitches. *shake*

WAAAAP!

*The students surround Will, relentlessly firing their guns and shooting him over and over. His score at this point is -1596. Will, facing the abuse and attempting to fire his way out of it like a broke ass Al Pacino in Scarface, gets shocked each time he discharges the gun. The Punk'd crew laughs wildly. The students start hitting him upside the head with their weapons. Will covers himself in the fetal position, still shaking from the shocks, mumbling the words, Mercy. Bitches.

All while snot runs from his nose.

Punk'd...indeed.

*Ashton and Ms. Hedgeman run out from behind the two-way mirror as the students cheer wildly and start singing the LeMoyne-Owen theme song and ending it in unison with...BITCH.

Will, seeing the camera, wipes the snot from his nose, feels for the bump on his head and proceeds to tackle Ashton and beat him with the very gun that had shocked him previously.

Will: I'ma beat you auspiciously, Ashton!!! Look mom, no testicles!

Hedgeman: Mr. Dawson, get off of him. You're setting a bad example for the students! Uh-oh. Here come's po-po! Run, students...run! Oh, and Will Dawson. Next time, keep yo' big mouth, swole-headed behind back in New York. Bitch.

The authorities arrived, locked up Will Dawson. He was sentenced to six months in the Shelby County Correctional Facility. Luckily, he had made friends with the inmates three weeks prior.

Ashton wound up being hospitalized for seven days, recovering from his facial laser gun injuries.

Punk'd went on hiatus until the fall.

Hey...now you know why it was the Lost Episode.

Bitches.

scribbled by Will at 3/17/2005 04:06:00 PM
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Mind Droppings

I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear. (Joan Didion)



The Write One


Will. Lefty. Since Summer 1971.
Over the next six months, I'll be saying some hellos, some goodbyes. Living, laughing, growing. Don't.miss.a.word.
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